Justice For Wendy
Cotland, NY 13045
tolmsted
Where to find help
Real love doesn't hurt...
Domestic Violence Escape Kit
Pack a survival kit.
- Money for cab fare
- A change of clothes
- Extra house and car keys
- Birth certificates
- Driver’s license or passport
- Medications and copies of prescriptions
- Insurance information
- Checkbook
- Credit cards
- Legal documents such as separation agreements and protection orders
- Address books
- Valuable jewelry
- Papers that show jointly owned assets
Conceal it in the home or leave it with a trusted neighbor, friend, or relative. Important papers can also be left in a bank deposit box.
Source: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook
Other Important tips:
T.Olmsted
Please be sure to document your wishes in the event of the unthinkable. Have the document notarized, and place it in the hands of a trusted friend or relative. If you have a Will, make the necessary changes as soon as possible. If you have minor children with the abuser, get legal counsel regarding petitioning the court for custody/placement immediately, and be sure that they are also protected by the restraining order or order of protection. Until this has been done, or placement has been legally established, the children could be in danger of "legal abduction" should the abuser flee. This type of abduction is not considered kidnapping in most states. The authorities have very limited powers to assist in such a situation. In many cases it can take years of Family Court battles to have your children returned. Once your custody or request for placement papers are filed with the court, the abduction of the child by the abuser is now a criminal matter and will be treated as such by law enforcement agencies. They will do everything in their power to have your children safely returned.
If you feel you are in danger seek help now, do not wait. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Hide a key between your home and your vehicle, have emergency numbers programmed into your cell phone and avoid being alone. If possible, keep a charged cell phone in your vehicle. Even un-activated cell phones can dial 911.
Feeling embarassed by your situation is very normal, no one wants to admit that they are a victim. Your abuser is using that feeling of humiliation as a tool to ensure your silence. The first step in protecting yourself and your children is taking away that tool. Seek out trusted family members and friends for support. Don't be afraid to take the help they offer. Your life could depend on it!
If something about your relationship with your partner scares you and you need to talk, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
Please ask for help
Links
The National Center for Victims of Crime
New York State Division of Criminal Justice
National Coalition on Domestic Violence
American Institute on Domestic Violence
NYS Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Council on Child and Family Violence
AVV
Aid to Victims of Violent Crimes
Crisis hotline
24 Hours A Day, 7 Days A Week
- call toll free: 1-800-336-9622
- or locally: (607) 756-6363
- Contact the legal aid office in your community
I GOT FLOWERS TODAY
Dedicated to all battered women.
by Paulette Kelly
• • •
I got flowers today!
It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day;
We had our first argument last night; And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.
• • •
I got flowers today!
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed like a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares to find they aren’t real.
• • •
I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Valentine’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long-sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn’t go to work today because I didn’t want anyone to know-but I know he’s sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.
• • •
I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was much worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money?
I’m afraid of him, but I’m too scared and dependent to leave him! But he must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.
• • •
I got flowers today…Today was a very special day—it was the day of my funeral;
Last night he finally killed me—I was beaten to death;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
The women’s shelter could have helped me, but I didn’t ask for their help;
So I got flowers today…for the last time.
• • •
Copyright 1992 c by Paulette Kelly
Cotland, NY 13045
tolmsted
