Justice For Wendy

What is Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Does Not Discriminate

Domestic Violence as defined by:

The New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

  Domestic violence is abusive behavior - emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual - that one person in an intimate relationship uses in order to control the other. It takes many different forms and includes behaviors such as threats, name-calling, preventing contact with family or friends, withholding money, actual or threatened physical harm and sexual assault. Stalking can also be a form of domestic violence.

Most domestic violence is committed against women by their male partners or ex-partners. It also occurs in lesbian and gay relationships and is common in teenage dating relationships. In a small number of cases, men are abused by female partners, but because 91 to 95 percent of all adult domestic violence assaults are perpetrated by men against their female partners, this booklet will refer to victims as female and abusers as male. But every victim of domestic violence, whether female or male, gay or heterosexual, has the right to legal relief.

 

  • Know the signs:

    Symptoms of Abuse - Threats, Power Misuse, and Control

    What symptoms below fit your life?

    Using Emotional Abuse

    • Putting the other person down
    • Making the other person feel bad about themselves
    • Calling the other person names
    • Making the other person think they are crazy
    • Playing mind games
    • Humiliating the other person
    • Making the other person feel guilty

    Using Privileges

    • Treating the other person like a servant
    • Making all the big decisions
    • Acting like the master of the castle
    • Being the one who determines the roles

    Using Economic Abuse

    • Preventing the other person from getting or keeping a job
    • Making the other person ask for money
    • Giving the other person an allowance
    • Taking the other person's money
    • Not letting the other person know about or have access to family income

    Using Coercion and Threats

    • Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the other person
    • Threatening to leave the other person, to commit suicide, report the other person to welfare
    • Making the other person drop charges
    • Making the other person do illegal things

    Using Intimidation

    • Making the other person afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions
    • Smashing things
    • Abusing pets
    • Displaying weapons

    Using Children

    • Making the other person feel guilty about the children
    • Using the children to relay messages
    • Using visitation to harass the other person
    • Threatening to take the children away

    Using Isolation

    • Controlling what the other person does, who they see and talk to, what's read, and where they go
    • Limiting their outside involvement
    • Using jealousy to justify actions

    Minimizing, Denying, Blaming

    • Making light of the abuse and not taking the other person's concerns about it seriously
    • Saying the abuse never happened
    • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
    • Saying the other person caused it

    HAS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?

    Does your partner:

    • Blame everyone else especially you, for his or her mistakes?
      Yes___ No___
       
    • Prevent you from seeing your family or friends?
      Yes___ No___
       
    • Curse you, say mean things, mock you or humiliate you?
      Yes___ No___
       
    • Force you to have sex or force you to engage in sex that makes you feel uncomfortable?
      Yes___ No___
       
    • Restrain, hit, punch, slap, or kick you?
      Yes___ No___
       
    • Intimidate or threaten you?
      Yes___ No___
       
    • Ever prevent you from leaving the house, getting a job, or continuing your education?
      Yes___ No___
       

    If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. IContact The New York State Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-888-942-6909.

  • Office of the prevention of Domestic Violence in New York State

      New York State Domestic & Sexual Violence Hotline:
    1-800-942-6906

    TTY for the Hearing Impaired:
    1-800-818-0656
    Línea contra la Violencia Doméstica y Agresión Sexual del Estado de Nueva York:
    1-800-942-6908

    TTY para audioimpedidos:
    1-800-780-7660

    In the end, we could not protect Wendy; it is in her honor that will will fight to protect others from living their lives in fear, or dying at the hands of an abuser.

 

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

Albert Einstein

"People may minimize your story. Don't let people tell you you're overreacting."

-Domestic Violence Survivor

 

      “Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return. It is estimated that approximately 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year in the United States.”      Dianne Feinstein quote

 

 

 [Domestic abuse victims] feel like they don't have a voice. It's something that we need to bring out. Especially for younger people, so they grow up knowing that it's something that happens and that they can help.” 

 Tori Steere quotes

 

 

 

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